it's clear that you gave your emotions to this song, and that's how music should be! about expressing feelings, and you've nailed it. As long as you can have this relation with the music that you create you will always nail one of the most important aspects of music.
try to EQ this song better, learn how to manipulate synths and sound and you are on your way to make good music with the special kind of sensitivity that you have.
Hope to hear more from you.
cheers!